Just a Thought

[NARCISSUS]

A second ago i was perusing, TSB and I had came across the bit dealing with love and hate.
From glancing at the title it's needless to say that it opened the floodgates, it provoked some inspiration.
It also prompted me to ask this query, from my examination of the things the title had brought to mind.
So, i'm curious to know the answers you lot will give to this question. In preface, that particular part of TSB talks about loving strongly those who deserve your love, which is construed to be parents and other family members for the most part. Now, for the question. Looking specificly at parents, when you class them as loved ones is that out of a feeling of obligation and duty, feeling you own them something just because they brought you into this world? Why would you feel you have a familial duty/obligation just because they were contributors in your being here? After all the reason(s) they even had you in the first place is 1. it was the consequence of them wanting to get laid. 2. They were striving for the american dream of 2.3 kids, the white picket fence etc. 3. they wanted to fill a need for emotional fulfillment, in a particular instance since after the previous kids all were grown and moved out doing their own thing. In any event your birth in this world was based on a selfish desire on the part of the parents, so, why the feeling of obligation and duty?

[Ana, Daughter of Lilith]

More of a nightmare! It's just that I had to stand apart from the American one you mentioned in your post. :-)

[NARCISSUS]

oh, well yea. What makes it a nightmare, all that with the council and such?

[Ana, Daughter of Lilith]

Oh, London is impossible but-well, I love it!

[NARCISSUS]

Of course you love it, it's the place you call home. Iwish i can come back home lol

[Ana, Daughter of Lilith]

Can't you? Where is your home?

[NARCISSUS]

I was making a reference to when i said that one time I was British at heart,I have some sort of long standing affinity for the UK. Funny isnt it?
I f I believed in past lives in that I would have to say my past is centered in that part of the terrain. Maybe my past is centered there in some physical way, like ancestry or whatever. I even have some what of an English accent.

[Ana, Daughter of Lilith]

Oh, I see. :-))

[NARCISSUS]

The best option is the third option, ultimately accept yourself as you are. I dont think self preservation and self love can be seperate things, in fact they can even be seen as being synonimous, because in loving yourself you'll do anything in your power to preserve yourself so to speak on every level and yes suicide exists for the most part oiut of a feeling of selfloathing/hate.

[Night Ankh]

Narcissus, wow. You make some good points, but to me, it also sounds like you have not had a very happy home life. I agree, wanting to get laid is the #1 cause of pregnancy. Please don't assume too much here. Not everyone feels that much different from you, I have a sperm donor and an egg donor. This is how I refer to them in conversations. It's human nature to seek to fulfill natural desires, such as finding shelter, gathering food, and having sex. There is NOT a species on this planet who didn't follow these same basic instincts. As for #2, there is nothing wrong with striving for goals, granted, they may not be YOUR goals, and that's fine. Ya can't fault others for trying to fulfill theirs though. #3, again this is back to basic instinct. If a need is being neglected, we as humans seek to fill that desire...It's called human nature.
I do NOT suggest you have to have any feelings for your parents, which aren't warrented. So, if I may ask, why are "selfish desires" seen as a negative thing, from your perspective? It may seem that you resent them for other issues, but blaming them for having you is a bit pointless at this point in time.
If your feeling so compelled to say that "Obligation and duty" are in question, mayhap it's associated to something they have taught you, with which you disagree. Again, that's fine.
It would seem that you are somewhere in the 16 to 18 age range. I mean NO offence here, but as you mature, you may see how things change, as in our desires and the choices we all make, good or bad. Hopefully, as a Satanist, one would learn from past mistakes, in order not to make them again.

[Mister_Six]

The age assumption was waaay off. But I digress

Sexuality is not a need, it is a want. Like most every other supposed natural instinct, it can be controlled. I have been celibate for over 43 months by choice when many opportunities existed, not worthwhile opportunities mind you. I only "mate" with suitable, stable, amazing stock.

Another "urge", or whatever the hell you want to call it, that is also controllable, is violence. Granted I'm not at a point in my life where I'm able to control this part of myself, but I hope to one day be above this part of myself and not feel the need to assert myself physically like most hairless apes I know. But as much as I hate to admit it, I'm just as violent as the next guy you push me too far.

[NARCISSUS]

I just want to say alot of people talk of love and sex as if they are intertwined when in reaity they are two very seperate things. Six, take it from me the day will come when you'll get a reign on those violent impulses. I say this because I used to have uncontrollable rage myself, I used to smash and break things, I had punched many a holes in doors; I even punched through an industrial strength screen at one time. The last instance of my out of control rage had to do with what I told you about my aunt's car(six police cars came to attend to skinny ole me so that says alot about the level of my rage within that instance) and that was 2-3 years ago. So, in time you'll get a hold on that aswell. Yes, I still have my breaking point, but now it's less impulsive and more controlled. I can be a danger to those who incur my wrath, so I would concur with you if I'm pushed too far the beast is released.

[NARCISSUS]

Well, I wouldnt say my home life was unpleasant, although I fall under the #3 category. This post is just an example of how deep and often times constant my thoughts are really. I think deeply. I wasnt really saying selfishness is negative, quite the contrary. I was pointing out that procreation within the human species ultimately stems from a selfish desire. I wouldn't say I was feeling compelled to call it an obligation and duty, but rather expressing how familial ties upon examination appears to be out of some feeling of obligation and duty. As in saying, we share the same bloodline, so I'm under obligation to love and care about you. Lol I may look like and maybe even be a perpetual teen on some level(a man-child lol), but I'm far from it being 31 in all. I would say I'm mature enough especially to know that everything is in flux. Even those in their 30s are still maturing though. A person doesnt reach their full maturity level until they're in their 30s-40s the peak being the 40s. Btw, no offence taking. As far as my own parents go I would say I like them as they've grown on me through the years, but i wouldn't go so far to say I love them just as I wouldnt use that word for anyone else I'm close to. Love signifies an attachment, an enmeshment to the object of said emotion and honestly, I'm not attached to anyone, or thing save for myself. Frankly, to say "I Love you" to anyone outside of the self is saying something to the effect of I hold you in higher esteem than I hold myself. Let's step back to #3 the need for emotional fulfillment, but looking at it in the context of romantic love. When you have to people"in love" they are on top of the world, because they are getting their emtional needs met, but when you you take that love away the person is wrought with anxiety,anger,devastation and even depression, after a point they go on the hunt for someone else to fill that need. Now, ask yourself why that is. It's simply because they are lacking in the ability of having any sort of emotional security within themselves. They need, the key word being need that other person in order to feel valued and worthwhile. They are looking for that other person to validate them because, they lack value, worth and validation within themselves and for themselves.